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Yank Needs Help

Kevin Tucker and I, Yank, are married (soon divorced) and were together for 20 years. We have two beautiful daughters together. I am a private person and Kevin knows this and takes advantage of this fact, but I feel it is time to come out and speak, especially since placed in a difficult situation.

Over the past few years things between Kevin and I have increasingly become strained. I did notice that I was growing distant from him as I was starting to see certain aspects of his personality that I did not care for. He is impatient with our children and him and our daughter, Mica, have moments where their relationship is strained as well––not to say that they don’t love each other, they absolutely do, but his patience is thin. A lot of it is due to his addiction to technology, he constantly has a screen in his face. I tried addressing these issues with him along with other issues but he failed to communicate with me about it, instead he ignored it, said he didn't want to talk about it, and/or got defensive. When I found out that he was cheating, that’s when I ended things. We did remain friends and co-parented while still living together. Of course there were ups and downs during this time but we made it work well enough. At the beginning of this year, 2019, Kevin asked if I would give him another chance, so I agreed but said we needed to work on communication and that we would keep our relationship quiet while we went through a year long trial period. Eventually his behavior began to grow suspicious and I broke it off after 6-7 months. His suspicious behavior turned out to be him cheating on me again.

Which leads us to now. As an anarchist, even though I don’t give myself a title, I don’t believe in the system and want nothing to do with it. I have tried to compromise with Kevin about how to proceed with custody but he isn’t willing to work with me. Kevin is controlling and it is either his way or no way. I've even agreed to move to Pennsylvania where he wants to move, but I do not. Kevin comes from a very wealthy family and they will provide him with a lawyer. I, on the other hand, come from poverty and I’m in limbo with a move, and so don’t have the funds to get a good lawyer without going in debt.

I need a lawyer and that’s the reason for me putting myself out here like this and displaying my private life. I desperately need help, I need to raise $5,000. I will use what is needed for a lawyer to get me through this and if any money is leftover, I will donate it to Survival International.

This isn’t easy for me to do and is greatly upsetting. If it were up to me, I would work this out another way and would leave the system out of it. Unfortunately it is not up to me. There are those who walk their talk, and then there are others who just talk. Sadly Kevin is the latter.

Please, if you can donate, it would be more than appreciated. I just want a fresh start and a peaceful space for me and my daughters. Much love to those who have listened and to those who donated.

And I know there are people out there reading this who know and consider both of us friends, I’m not asking for anyone to take sides, I’m just asking for financial help and catching everyone up on what is happening between us since most people are in the dark. And please, if you have any advice, feel free to contact me.

Forever grateful,

GoFundMe Page:
Not sure how your advice helps her immediate situation. She already said she doesn't believe in the system, and she's not about to bring down even her own corner of the neighborhood by herself.

Society is not 'out there'. We are society. If society is fucked up it's because WE are fucked up. KT's domestic situation perfectly illustrates how people within a radical milieu can often end up simply mirroring the attitudes and interpersonal relations of the dominant culture.

There is a time and place to fuck shit up, but to do that successfully we need to first get our own shit together. Addiction to tech, dominating and controlling behaviour, creating mistrust, lying, cheating, taking advantage of people, unwillingness to cooperate, communicate, or work things out....these are all the sorts of things we are supposedly against, no?

This isn't the first negative info I've heard about KT. And it's not just KT, it's the anti-civ, anarchist scene, in general. There are just too many stories like this to shrug off as 'soap operas'. Our whole milieu is toxic. No wonder we aren't even close to subverting the dominant paradigm. We couldn't even organize a simple fire drill. Even the alt-right looks more competent and has more of an influence on the world than we do currently.
No we obviously don't have our shit together, or we wouldn't be reproducing the social relations we are supposedly against.

Anger as a source of motivation in fighting the system is one thing, but it has nothing to do with treating loved ones and friends like shit, or lying, or cheating, or being addicted to tech, etc. If we are going to fight the system, let's do that, instead of taking our daily frustrations out on each other.
I see the page has been taken down.

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